Live From The Grill-O-Mat

Dad

2009-03-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are, nearly a year since my last post. I had meant to post sooner, in late July of ‘08 to be exact, after my trip to Alaska. I figured I would have something to say and some pictures to post. As it turned out, life had other plans for me…

Where to start…

My wife, my daughter, and I returned from Alaska in mid-July. One of the first things we did was make a date with my dad and his wife for breakfast, a meal we shared every other week or so. Because of their recent travel and ours, it had been probably late May or early June since we had last seen each other. We were overdue. I was looking forward to it, but I was not prepared for the change in Dad’s appearance. He was skinny. Too damn skinny.

He had been losing weight for a few years, since he was diagnosed with diabetes and had changed his diet. This is to be expected. We all noticed. At first we all complimented him on his success. Sometime in 2007 the weight loss had started to become severe and we started to express concern. He saw doctors. In April of 2008 they told him he didn’t have cancer, but they didn’t know what was causing the weight loss. They didn’t know why the loss of energy. They didn’t know. I guess that’s what you call “practicing” medicine.

I knew in my heart it wouldn’t be long. I knew 2008 would be the worse year of my last 44. I knew Christmas would never be the same. I knew I would never be the same.

I was right.

Immediately after breakfast, while still in my car, in the parking lot, I called my sister and told her she had better beat feet for California if she wanted to see Dad while he was still able to get around because it wouldn’t be long before he wouldn’t have the strength. She came. Brought her daughter. It was good. She hadn’t been out to visit for a few years.

We still had no diagnosis, Dad insisted it was nothing. Though I’m certain he knew otherwise. That’s what dads do. Don’t worry the kids.

The first week of August brought news.

Cancer. Stomach. Inoperable. Final stage. Weeks, maybe three months.

I cried. I still cry. Hell, I’m crying as I type this.

Following the “news” were the obligatory visits from brother and sisters. You know, all those people we always talk of visiting someday, but in reality only see at weddings or funerals. Don’t misunderstand me, I love them all and the time they spent was very much appreciated. By me, by Dad, by them. It was time well spent and long overdue. My uncle stayed the longest. In many ways, he and I are more like brothers than he and my dad were. We’re closer in age and I spent many a summer annoying the hell out of him.

Since he stayed longer, and the sisters all came at once, my uncle and I spent several days helping Dad empty his storerooms. A daunting task to say the least and one that continues still. The best we could do was reduce the number from three storerooms to two. You see, Dad was something of a “collector.” For as long as I knew him. Books mostly. But the collector bug grew to include reel-to-reel tapes of mostly old radio shows. “Amos and Andy,” “X-Minus One,” “The Shadow,” “The Jack Benny Show,” you get the idea. I loved listening to that stuff when I was a kid. I enjoy it to this day. (Thank you, Dad.) As the times changed and technology changed, he switched to video. He recorded damn near every thing. And lots of it. This is what my uncle and I concentrated on, the video tapes. We sorted through box after box. Box of books? Set it aside. Box of reel-to-reel? Set it aside. Box of VHS or Beta (yes, the tapes went back that far)? Toss it. We loaded up a good sized U-Haul three times and unceremoniously dumped my dad’s multi-year hobby in a landfill. The culmination of all that work now lies several feet under this weeks garbage. It was sad. Though I’m not really sure what he thought he would do with all those recording, I never was. I don’t even think he knew. Maybe it was just something to keep him busy. I wouldn’t let him come to the dump with us. It didn’t seem right. In the end, my uncle and I estimated we had discarded more than two tons worth of video tape. Two tons of a person’s life. I cried.

My uncle went home soon after the storeroom fun. He has a family, they missed him and he missed them. But it wouldn’t be long before I would see him again.

I spent as much time as possible with my dad, as much time as his failing health would allow. We never went to breakfast again, and our last dinner out was with the family at Buca di Beppo. He loved their pizza. My wife and I went over after work and on weekends. We talked, laughed, and cried. We did what we could to make him comfortable. We fulfilled his “final” requests. We waited.

On Sunday, August 31, he asked me if I would bring him some root beer. Not just any root beer, but his favorite. Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer. After a brief search, on Monday, September 1, my wife and I delivered unto him four bottles of Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer. Not the mass produced crap, but the good old made with pure cane sugar kind. Nothing better. I was damn pleased that we had found it, and even more so that it was made the old way, with sugar rather than corn syrup. Dad enjoyed a bottle.

On September 2, after work, my wife and I went directly to Dad’s house for what would be our last visit. It was brief, Dad was tired. I told him I loved him, I gave him a kiss, we went home. Shortly after getting home, maybe an hour, maybe less, my dad died. He was 67. He died peacefully, in a bed in his own house, with his loving wife by his side. Could any of us ask for more?

In his life, my dad was many things. Boy Scout, archaeologist, college English professor, insurance salesman, he taught defensive driving. He was a “househusband,” taking care of my sister and I. He was a student, a bookseller, Jeopardy contestant, and a government employee. He was a very good man. Not a great man. Not a perfect man. But a very good man. He was a man of principles, and he would stand by them. This is something he passed on to me. He also shared with me his love of the written word, something for which I will always be grateful. He was quick with a joke, sometimes racy, sometimes good, most often bad. His breadth of knowledge was seemingly vast, and he enjoyed sharing trivia. He had a big heart and loved children. So much so that he carried in his fanny pack small toys to give to children when they asked if he was Santa Claus, and sometimes even when they didn’t. He loved Christmas, was a “real beard” Santa, working the last couple of years in a small cottage in a small strip mall as their Santa. He was a friend to authors known the world over, sharing with them wine from his collection, and, in at least one case, a meal at their home. And yet he was also a friend to the waiter or waitress, busboy, or cashier. Learning their name, using it, connecting with them. Smiling and joking with them, bringing them into his extended family. He was beloved. He is missed.

I am proud of my dad. I respect my dad. I love my dad. I miss my dad. Every day.

Radio radio.

Spring has Sprung

2008-03-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was out driving some of the backroads near my home and while passing the old Joel McCrae place I spotted this field of wild flowers. I made a mental note to head back with one of my cameras. As you can see, I did just that. I like the shots I took, this is my favorite.

What's New Monkey Boy?

2008-03-05T21:28:00.000-08:00

Well, if there are any regular readers out there, you should be very excited to see a new post. I will not be concerned if this fact does not make the headlines on the cable news networks as I am relatively certain that I am the only person concerned with my digital musings.

There is really no excuse for not posting more often, I mean it's not as if I am gallivanting around the globe with my lovely wife. On the other hand, when your days mainly consist of getting up, going to work for eight hours, and coming home only to start the cycle over, there's not much to share.

We are heading to Las Vegas next week, that's something. We haven't been for a couple of years. We used to go about twice a year, but for some reason we skipped last year. That might have had something to do with my wife's health issues. Alas, those are behind us now and the road ahead is open...or some such cliche. In fact, we're heading for Alaska the first week of July. I wonder how long it will take me to blog about that? Any bets? Now, if I can only convince the better half that Boston in September is a great idea...Jimmy Buffett is playing the 4th and 6th...duh...How fucking long have you known me?

I imagine that you have all taken note, the silly season is upon us. Actually, it has been for quite some time. Yes, I am speaking of another Presidential election. Whoopee! Is it just me, or are these people some of the worst choices we've had since, well, since the last Presidential election? I may just vote Nader in protest. It's not like my vote here in California will make a difference, we all know where this state's electoral votes will go. I'm tired of the whole thing.

Well, my feelings of guilt are more or less lifted and I no longer feel burdened by my neglect of my blog. Here's to hoping I make it back sooner next time. Maybe even before some stranger happens to stumble upon this swill and reads it.

I need to find something to really sink my teeth into for my next post. Get angry, tell you people what to think, something, anything. I need to spice this place up a bit. Take on a cause. We'll see...

More Bloggy Goodness

2007-10-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

No excuses, I have been remiss in keeping the blog up to date. Sadly, things have been a bit slow and, quite honestly, rather dull.

I am now one week removed from my latest pilgrimage to see Jimmy Buffett. I took my daughter to the show, she'd never seen him and I didn't tell her where we were going. The show was a two hour drive from home and not once did she question me about our destination. Needless to say, when she laid eyes upon the marquee she was quite surprised and rather excited. At fifteen, she may be the only Jimmy Buffett fan among her peers.

As far as the show itself goes, it was as entertaining as ever, yet at the same time it felt like it was an afterthought. It felt as if the show was thrown together quickly. I get the impression that Irvine was not his first choice of venue. One clue to this is the tour shirt I purchased. One of the stops listed is Hollywood, Ca. Well, he didn't/isn't playing Hollywood this tour. Don't get me wrong, it will not deter me from going to another Buffett show, I'm just saying, this show was not as good as the Thursday April '06 Irvine show or the Saturday October '06 Las Vegas show.

In other news...

My wife is now employed by the same company which employs...me. Yes, she has returned to the scene of the crime, the place we met oh so many years ago. I must, the whole carpooling thing is messing with my morning rhythm. After driving to work alone everyday for twenty four years, well, you get used to the solitude. You can belch or break wind at your leisure without thought of offending, stop for breakfast if you choose, or even suddenly change your mind and go to the beach rather than work. Damn, my wife's decision to make a career change has really fucked up my life.

On the upside, I do get a kiss after every break.

The Lazy Blogger

2007-07-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's me, the lazy blogger. I see that May '06 was my last post, that's damn sad. Not nearly as sad as the fact that in more than a year not much has happened.

Let's see...

My wife and I bought a Toyota FJ Cruiser. I love it, though there are a couple of nasty blind spots.

The company I've been working for for the last 24 years was sold to a corporate behemoth, much to my chagrin. I'm not really the corporate type. More of the small Mom and Pop type. And don't even get me started about the guy they put in place to run the plant. Now, if you figure I was ready to cut and run more than 3 years ago, you can imagine how I feel now.

Back in October '06 I went to Las Vegas to see Jimmy Buffett again. This time my wife was able to attend. From what I remember, it was a great show and we had a damn good time. At least that's what my wife tells me. I do recall thinking that his shows are better at outdoor venues as opposed to the indoor arenas, but indoors should not be a deterrent. Any Jimmy is better than no Jimmy. There is a rumor that he will be doing a show or two in Hollywood, after Madison Square Garden and before his return to Las Vegas. Needless to say, I'll be getting tickets.

Back in February my wife celebrated a significant birthday, though it would be ungentlemanly for me to tell you which one. To commemorate the event, I planned and expertly executed a four day weekend in San Diego. We had a nice room with a view of the ocean at Mission Bay. There was some remodeling going on at the hotel, but the work posed no real imposition. In fact, I'd stay at the hotel again. Though I'll wait until the construction is complete.

Among the festivities was a visit to the San Diego Wild Animal park, but not just any visit. I sprang for the full photo safari. This got us off the tram and onto the back of a stake bed truck. Rather than a tour around the animal paddocks, the tour takes you through the animal paddocks, well, except for the elephant and lion areas. I would have to say that by far my wife's favorites were the giraffe and the rhinoceros. We were permitted to feed both animals, but, much to my wife's disappointment, we were only allowed to pet the rhinos. It is a true test of will power not to pet a giraffe while it is eating eucalyptus leaves over your shoulder. All in all, it is an experience I would recommend for any one planning to visit San Diego.

We ended the day with dinner in Old Town, at the Cafe Coyote y Cantina. A margarita, some excellent Mexican food, and fresh, and I mean fresh, tortillas were the perfect compliment to the day. Followed by a stroll through the streets of Old Town with the one you love, who could ask for more?

We also spent a day at Sea World, I hadn't been there since I first moved to California, about 30 years ago. I don't remember Sea World having quite so many rides back then. They still have the fish, the dolphins and porpoises, and Shamu is still there (I'm pretty sure there is a Shamu at every Sea World in the country) along with some manatee and assorted other critters, but rides? I guess they needed something to compete with Lego Land besides a variety of sea life. Part of my plan for Sea World involved getting my wife in the pool (tank?) with the dolphins. No easy task, let me tell you. But, with a little encouragement and a couple of "When will you ever get this chance again?"-s, she went for. And had a blast, save for the cold water. She loved every minute of it.

But for me, my favorite critter in the park was the donkey. Dynamo. He's the official Budweiser donkey. You may remember him from the Super Bowl commercial. Weak beer, great donkey. I have a soft spot for donkeys, mules too. Don't no why,but there it is. How can anyone not love a donkey? Answer: They can't. Don't argue with me, this is my blog damn it!

Well, that's about it. The highlights so to speak. Looking back, I guess it has been a rather busy year after all. And I didn't even touch on politics. Maybe next time.

Once again I will say that I will attempt to post more often. Will I succeed? Who knows? Certainly not me.

What the hell took me so long?

2006-05-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

Wow, I see that it has been four months since I started this and four months since I posted anything. Not that it matters, nobody reads this anyway. Which begs the question...Why bother? Well, obviously I haven't bothered. Things have been rather slow for me over the last few months, with a couple of exceptions.

Back in March I purchased a Colt .45 ACP, series 70 1911. Let me just say, this is a very nice gun. It feels good in my hand, it fires straight, and I like the tradition inherent in the Colt name. What's the old saying? "God made all Men, Samuel Colt made them equal." After the Civil War the popular saying was "Abe Lincoln may have freed all men, but Sam Colt made them equal." Just a little trivia. Anyway...since the purchase I have made a weekly trek to the shooting range. Talk about a good stress reliever.

On April 20th I had what might be described as a life altering experience. I do not exaggeratete about this reader, I am forever changed what I experienced and will always remember April 20, 2006 as a watershed moment in my life. Let me tell you about it.

For most of my life I have been a fan of Jimmy Buffett. I love his music, something about it just lifts my mood without fail. My love for his music had not prompted me to actively seek tickets to any of his concerts however, mainly because of my distaste of crowds and most people in general. A little less than ten years ago that changed, I began thinking that maybe a Jimmy Buffett concert would be fun. I've seen the videos, looks like fun, perhaps it was time for me to make a journey to see my oracle in person. The first couple of years after these thoughts started I made half hearted attempts to acquire tickets, the net result of which was failure.

After those first attempts to obtain tickets, my desire to see Jimmy live grew, perhaps the early failures spurred my desire, perhaps my soul was crying out for healing, healing that could only happen through a pilgrimage, a musical hajj if you will. Either way, all I know is, I had to get tickets, I had to see Jimmy Buffett live.

Over the next few years, the only things that changed in my attempts to get tickets to see Buffett were my frustration and disappointment as at every turn I was unable to purchase seats. Oh, sure, I could have gone through a ticket broker, but those guys are no better than scalpers in my book, never used one, never will. All this changed in January.

About halfway through the month of January, while perusing the Margaritaville website, I noticed that Jimmy was going to be touring with the always cool Coral Reefer Band. Now I was prepared. I had advance notice of the tour, I new the tickets would go on sale soon, and I now have an AmEx card. I quickly ascertained when ticket sales would commence and marked the day on my calender and waited.

Finally the morning arrived. I sat at my computer at work, AmEx card in hand, Ticketmaster's website on my browser, and a fresh Mountain Dew at the ready. As 10:00am drew closer I steeled my nerves for the frenzy that was about to take place. *CLICK* Ten o'clock!! With a speed and fury I had never before seen, my fingers worked the keys...artist...venue...date...number of tickets...price range...SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, COULD YOU MAKE THIS ANY HARDER?!! Finally...enter...search results...crap, those seats are too far back. Again I searched, and again. Finally I settled on three tickets near the middle of the amphitheatre, I say settled because I decided to end my search for fear of losing another opportunity of seeing the show. Previous attempts were hindered by the show selling out before I could even look for tickets, this time my quest had yeilded fruit. Well, tickets.

Three tickets, my wife, my best friend, and I were going to see Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Band, live. Both my wife and I had never seen him so this was going to be pretty cool. I cannot express to you the excitement I felt. And the relief. Finally, I was going to see Jimmy. In three months. Three months. A lot can happen in three months.

Not long after the tickets were purchased my wife paid a visit to the doctor. He referred her to another doctor. Next thing we know, she is scheduled for major surgery on April 9th. That's right, eleven days before the concert she decides would be a good time for a procedure that could wait until after the concert. In her defense, her memory isn't so hot most days and I'm sure she hadn't even thought of the concert when sheduling the surgery. Unfortunately, the recovery from the operation was going to be 6-8 weeks and the discomfort she would be experiencing coupled with the effects of the prescribed pain killers would prohibit her from attending the concert.

Now you have to understand, I love my wife deeply. It's a passionate, unconditional love. It's a love I never thought I'd find, a love that just kind of snuck up on me, snuck up on us. To say "she completes me" may sound corny and cliche', but it is extremely accurate. We enjoy each other's company, we enjoy doing the together,especially things we've never done. Quite simply, there is nothing I wouldn't do for this woman. The idea of taking care of her while she convalesced was, for me, something to relish. But we're talking about Jimmy Buffett...in concert. The culmination of a ten year quest.

What to do, what to do. After much thought and consideration, I reached a decision. I would forego the concert and stay home with her, just in case she needed help.

I decided to sell our tickets, including the premium parking pass. Jimmy would come around again. No worries.

Well, there was a glut of Buffett tickets on e-Bay. For both days he was to perform, Thursday and Saturday. Our tickets were for Thursday. As the day drew closer, there were no bids for the tickets. I was having second thoughts about not going, the Mrs. seemed fine, not 100%, but she was getting around. I knew she would still be unable to attend, but she wouldn’t want us to waste all that money, right? Truthfully, she was disappointed that I had decided to pass on the show. Neither one of us are big concert goers these days, but she knew how much this meant to me.

So, the decision was made, the die cast. I was going to the concert without her. I would meet my buddy and a friend of his at the show, and I would have a good time.

The day finally arrived, April 20, 2006. I set out right after work, no going home first for me, I had to drive eighty plus miles through two counties (Los Angeles and Orange), during afternoon rush hour traffic. I had four and a half hours to do it. I made it to the venue, the Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre, with 45 minutes to spare.

First, let me say this, if you are going to a Jimmy Buffett concert, arriving 45 minutes early isn’t early enough. Some of these people had been there all day. I have been to college football games, I have been to professional football games, I have never before seen tailgating to this degree. It was mind boggling. Blenders plugged in to the AC outlets of cars, truck, SUVs, music, dancing, food, alcohol. The parking lot was one big party. The party continued inside the gates. Two stages with bands performing, more alcohol, more food, more dancing. Party, party, party. In my younger days I had been to many a concert but I have never seen anything like this.

The show itself was phenomenal. You may think you’ve been to a concert, but you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Jimmy Buffett live. I’ve seen Meatloaf, Genesis, Tom Jones, Neil Diamond, Rod Stewart, Ted Nugent, Bad Company, Billy Joel (several times), Bad English, Foreigner, Journey, Asia, and many other bands live, Jimmy Buffett blows them all away. If you even remotely like one of his songs, go see him live. Seriously. This man obviously loves performing for his fans, he obviously loves performing period. He was energetic, engaging, and fun. You have not been to a concert until you’ve been in the middle of a crowd of Parrotheads during a Jimmy Buffett concert. It was, simply put, amazing. He does all the songs you know, then he does some more.

It was almost a perfect night, almost. There was only one thing missing. Only one thing that prevented it from being a perfect night. My wife. I truly wish we had been able to share this experience together. Did I have a good time? Oh yeah. Did I enjoy myself? Not so much. I called her when he started the show, he opened with what has become our official Buffett song, “Boat Drinks”. Held the phone up so she could hear it. She tune into Radio Margaritaville on the internet, his shows are broadcast live on the station, so she was able to listen to what I was seeing, but it’s just not the same. I missed her more than ever that night.

If asked about the show now, a month later, I still talk about it as if it were just yesterday.

For two days she listened to me talk about the show, but no matter how colorful my descriptions, she didn’t quite grasp what I was saying. In an effort to make her understand, I picked up the DVD he has out, Jimmy Buffett Mini Matinee #1. It’s a collection of five or six songs performed live at different venues around the country. She got chilly bumps when she saw the performance of “Fins”. She was finally starting to understand.

The night was almost perfect. I will never again be able to experience the joy of going to a Jimmy Buffett concert for the first time, but the next time I go, I will have the absolute pleasure of watching the face of my wonderful wife as she experiences it for the first time. That will be a perfect night.

This has the potential of changing the movie industry

2006-01-20T19:07:00.001-08:00

The new Steven Soderbergh film "Bubble" is set to be released to theatres on January 27. It is also set to be released on DVD and shown on cable TV the same day. This move could potentially change forever the way movies reach the public.

Needless to say, movie theatre owners are pissed. With the theatre audience dwindling, I can't say as I blame them. Most people I know just wait the few months for the DVD release these days rather than go to the theatre. I used to go to the theatre to see a movie at least once a week, these days I go about two or three times a year. Between the cost of the tickets, the cost of snacks (for my wife, not me, I don't believe in eating in a movie theatre and people who do tend to piss me off, except my wife, I just roll my eyes at her, she knows how I feel), and the ten to fifteen minutes of commercials (not previews, I like those), I'd rather wait for the DVD release. For $20.00 or less, you can by the DVD, take it home, make your own snacks, drinks, watch the movie, pause it if you need to visit the bathroom, whatever you want. Hell, you can not go to the theatre for less than $20.00!

But I digress...

This film, "Bubble", is apparently a low budget piece, the backers are maverick billionaires Todd Wagner and Mark Cuban (Cuban is the outspoken owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks, in case you didn't know, and Todd Wagner co-founded Brodcast.com with Cuban, together they now own 2929 Entertainmen, 2929 Entertainment holdings include Landmark Theatre Corporation, Magnolia Pictures, Rysher Entertainment, and the HDNet cable channel. It also has an interest in Lions Gate Films. 2929 Entertainment produces films in the $10 - $40 million budget range. 2929 Entertainment produced "Good Night and Good Luck", I had to look that info up). So, we've got a couple of producers who don't have a problem bucking the status quo, a well know director, and a whole new approach to getting a movie to the public, this could get interesting.

Heh, I didn't mention what the movie is about... "Bubble" is a murder mystery set in a doll factory. I might just have to buy the DVD...

We've lost another of the greats

2006-01-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

I just read where Wilson Pickett has died of a heart attack at the age of 64. Somehow this seems too young. “Mustang Sally” and “In The Midnight Hour” are two of the best soul recordings ever. It's sad that we are losing the greats, not only do we lose wonderful music and talent, though they will live on through their recordings, but we have no one today capable of stepping up and continuing the tradition of great music these and other legends have given us.

These days, obviously, there is no one talented enough to compare to Ray Charles, Wilson Pickett, or Barry White, just to name three. These guys had more talent in their little fingers than, well, you get the idea. I'm not one of those people who pine for "the good old days", but so much of the music today is just crap.

R.I.P. Wilson Pickett 1941-2006

First Post

2006-01-18T22:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I have decided to start a blog. Some may ask, "Why?" Truthfully, I have no idea. What am I going to do with my blog? Again, I have no idea. I guess I will be posting my thoughts about current events, movie and book reviews, political concerns, things of that nature. I'll probably talk about my wife, I love her deeply and she is my better half.

I don't really expect people to see this, with the number of blogs out there, mine is but a speck on a gnat's ass.

If you are reading this and you are wondering about the titile of my blog, "Live From The Grill-O-Mat", it is the title of episode 18 of "Monty Python's Flying Circus". I'm not real sure why I chose it, well, that's not true. There were two reasons: 1) I love Monty Python, and 2) It sounded funny, at least it sounded funny to me.

Well, that's all for now. Give me some time to warm up to this, it shouldn't take me long to get rolling.